On our way to Peru, we’ll be making a brief layover in the U.S. for a family function…timing worked out really well for this, but that’s another story. To be honest, I’m a little bit anxiety-ridden after having not been on the mainland U.S. for quite some time. Mostly I’m worried that the driving habits I’ve picked up while living in Kaohsiung will get me shot or arrested in the U.S. In homage to my own anxiety I did a search for something I had previously read…basically, it’s a pamphlet given to Japanese tourists with handy tips on visiting the U.S.

I’m going back to the US for Christmas tomorrow! Yay!

My travel agent has, thoughtfully, seen fit to provide me with a pamphlet of helpful tips to make my overseas travel less of an anxiety-filled social minefield riddled with white people and guns. I got such a kick out of these that I wanted to share. (I picked most of the fun ones. There are a lot of boring tips too.)

* The yen is very strong against the dollar right now. This will make goods in America seem very cheap — an excellent opportunity for shopping! However, remember to be polite in your use of money — America is in the middle of economic malaise right now, and Japanese people with wads of money in their hand might be looked on with envy. Besides, if you are obviously wealthy in an American city, you may be robbed.

* For our valued customers who work in the automotive industry [#1 employer where I live], we advise discretion. If you must say where you work, the preferred phrasing is [English] “I work at the car company”.

* Most Americans are very polite, particularly outside of the big cities. However, outside of the big cities, everyone owns guns. Inside the big cities, almost everyone owns guns. Let’s be polite together!

* If you go shopping at an American department store, they will ask you if you want to open a credit card account. They are *not* asking whether you want to use a credit card. This may seem strange but it is an American custom to offer customers a credit card, in order to make them spend more money. We suggest politely declining offers of credit cards. You may have to politely decline several times. Don’t think of this as rude, the Americans have to do it too.

* Most Americans think we look like Chinese or Koreans. Try not to be too offended.

* Most Americans will think that a Japanese person standing on the street is an American, unless they are holding a camera. If you are not comfortable speaking English, you might try bringing along a camera to say “I am a tourist, please don’t expect me to speak English.” Except, don’t try this in the big cities — tourists get mugged in big cities.

* Americans have a social institution called a “gratuity”. Basically, the price on the menu at any place which serves food is not the real price. The real price is 20% higher. You have to calculate 20%, write it under the subtotal, and sum to arrive at the real price. Taxis work the same way. It is considered very rude not to pay the “gratuity”.

* In general, Americans consider it impolite to discuss politics. However, this January Obama will become the new president, and many people are excited! If they ask you what you think of him, a safe answer is [English] “Obama is really cool.” or [English] “Obama speaks so well. Not like me. Hehe.” Be very careful when pronouncing his name. O BA MA, just like Obama City. [Ask me later. Hilarity abounds.]

* Most big cities have Japanese food available. You may have to look hard, though — ask your hotel for some place to eat tempura. Restaurants which say they serve sushi probably only serve makizushi, like California rolls. (Americans think California rolls are [English] “sushi”.) If a restaurant says [English] “Asian” they really mean Chinese. They are probably not really Chinese, either.

* Ladies: if you shop for clothes, ask for where to find [English] “petite”. It means normal sized. Ladies who are petite may have difficulty finding clothes which fit in America, except at specialty shops.

* McDonalds: Has no teriyaki burger in America. Portions are bigger and food is cheaper. Sometimes the person taking the order does not speak English. Please relax! They probably understand the set menu, although it is called [English] “combo”, and you can hold up the number with your hands as shown. [Snip of chart for how Americans count on their fingers, which is actually different than how Japanese people count on their fingers, hence the need for a chart.]

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to finish work and start packing. Toothbrush, shirts, camera, bullet-proof vest, wad of monopoly money, you know, the bare necessities.

Have you ever traveled to a place and thought to yourself that you would like to live there? Of course you have. In my case, it’s nearly the opposite. In 2008 I traveled to Peru, and for the most part, didn’t much care for it. I was really only in Peru because it was necessary to pass through while going from Ecuador to Chile. I figured I’d make a few stops along the coast to suck up some beach life and break the trip up. Originally, I hadn’t even planned on going to Machu Picchu but the more I spoke to travelers along the way, the more convinced I became that a visit, though well out of my way, was in order. Machu Picchu was definitely one of the highlights of my trip, but I found Cusco to be absolutely abhorrent.

Probably a couple of years prior to going to Peru, I had done a bit of research, trying to find what I considered to be the place on earth with the most perfect weather. The place I found was Trujillo, Peru. For about 358 days of the year, the high temp of the day never gets above 78 degrees(F), nor below 58. Record highs are in the mid-90′s and are very short-lived. While I was researching my trip to South America, I read an article on some of the great places on earth that are very underrated. One of these places is Chan-Chan, which happens to be very close to Trujillo. Chan Chan and Trujillo were on my radar.

Back to what I found unappealing about Peru – there’s a bit of a backstory here, but I’ll try to keep it short. I had spent several weeks in Ecuador visiting The Galapagos and chilling out in the beach town of Montanita while learning some Spanish. I was starting to get the hang of speaking Spanish and was beginning to feel very empowered. My new found confidence coincided with my need to move on. My introduction to Peru was met with people who refused to speak Spanish to me. Even when I would open the conversation in Spanish, cab drivers and restauranteurs would reply in English and present me with English menus. I didn’t like it. Furthermore, especially in Cusco, I felt that the Peruvians had sold out their culture in a Disneyesque fashion.

My loathing for Peru aside, I found the beach town of Huanchaco (near Trujillo and Chan Chan) to be an absolute delight and the weather there was everything I had hoped for…absolutely perfect!

So….fast forward to December of 2010. I had been working an overseas contract job in Kaohsiung, Taiwan. The gig was awesome, but the day-to-day work was the worst work experience I’d had to date. Taiwan is absolutely wonderful, and Kaohsiung is a magnificent city…the rest of the world has no idea. Anyhow, in December my employer made the announcement that the work that we were doing in Taiwan would be moved back to the U.S. in June of 2011, that’s right, my job in Asia was to be outsourced to the United States where labor is less expensive. The planning began. My wife and I are both very fond of Asia and our first thoughts were that we would move to Cambodia where we could easily stay legally for an indefinite length of time. In March, we took a trip to have a look and get a feel for it. That trip pretty much cemented the idea and plans began to solidify. The one thing that bothered me about Cambodia is the oppressive heat. It’s always hot. For much of the year, the weather in Kaohsiung is pretty nice, but by May the temps start to increase, as does the humidity. This got us to thinking more about how uncomfortable we might be in Cambodia and so, when she asked me if there was some place with great weather and cheap cost of living, I immediately responded with Huanchaco, Peru and the rest is history waiting to happen!

My travels in South America wouldn’t be complete without a visit to Easter Island (a.k.a. Rapa Nui or Isla de Pascua depending on your preferred language). Few places on the face of the earth offered me what Easter Island did in mystery and intrigue. The statues (called moai) have had a great deal of appeal to me ever since I first became aware of their existence. I rank Easter Island right up there with Stonehenge in my “great mysteries of the world” list.

Moai in the quarry

I had seen pictures of the iconic moai of Rapa Nui before and was very intrigued. Of course, I have read snippets about them here and there so I had an idea of what learned scholars figured them to be, but nearly everything that is known about the existence of the moai and the original residents of Rapa Nui is based mostly in hypothesis and theory. I think that it is wonderful that the true meaning behind the statues on Easter Island may never be known and will be kept a secret from humankind for the rest of eternity.

Rapa Nui is a relatively small island about 2500 miles off the west coast of Chile. The island is all by itself and is often touted as the most isolated place on earth. To give that some perspective, in these modern times, that’s a five-hour flight with nothing between take-off and landing but open ocean. During that five hour flight I remember being slightly annoyed by a crying baby on the airplane and I remember being a bit uncomfortable due to the lack of legroom. Annoyed and uncomfortable only until I start to think about the ancient people who first came to Rapa Nui. I have no frame of reference to help me even get a vague understanding for what these people must have gone through to get there. How many days (weeks, months even?) must one spend on a canoe to go…2500 miles on a previously uncharted course? If I was uncomfortable and annoyed on a five hour flight, these people must have been absolutely mad after endless days at sea in a canoe. Being exposed for that long on the ocean, they surely encountered bad weather. Inevitably they lost people, supplies, and food. What about water? Where does one get drinking water on a crossing like that? And after the ordeal of getting there…they find…NOTHING! Easter Island is fairly small and rugged. Sure, there is evidence that it was much more forested when the original Rapa Nui arrived but beyond trees and lava there isn’t much to the island.

So, after much suffering they land on an isolated island, have no external stimulation…what better way to pass the time than carve some statues out of lava. Oh..and then, after the monumental task of carving them, they move them to their platforms (called Ahu)…which are MILES away from the quarry. Madness. Pure Madness, I’m sure, is what drove these people to do this work and eventually de-forest themselves nearly out of existence.

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On my final day in San Pedro de Atacama I took a trip to the El Tatio geyser field. This particular outing was highly recommended by other travelers that I had met in San Pedro and Chileans absolutely raved about the greatness of the geysers of El Tatio.

A hot spring at El Tatio

This tour departed at 4 A.M. in order to get to the geyser field at sunrise – when the air is cold and the light is soft, lending dramatic effect to the steam rising – which will lose much of its appeal as the ambient air temperature climbs. The day’s highlight was swimming (or “hotpotting” as it was called when I did it in Yellowstone) in a hot spring – and at El Tatio it is a sanctioned event! (unlike Yellowstone). This geyser field is at very high altitude and as such, the air temperature is pretty cold – so getting out of the hot spring wasn’t all that enjoyable.

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On my second day in San Pedro de Atacama and following my Valle de la Luna tour I took a full day trip to the nearby Lagunas Altiplanicas or high plains lakes. For me, the main attraction wasn’t the high plains lakes at all, but rather the Salar de Atacama as an alternative to visiting the Salar de Uyuni (you may recall from my last post that I didn’t have time to visit Uyuni)

The early flamingo gets the….shrimp?

The tour departed at 6 A.M. in order to get to the Salar de Atacama (Atacama salt flat in English) early enough to view the flamingos in the salt lakes.

The Salar is a very interesting landscape. The high mineral concentration is caused by a lack of drainage and over the years minerals (amongst them vast amounts of salt and lithium) have been deposited in the basin by glaciation and runoff. This area is an extremely inhospitable environment, yet certain species have adapted to live here. Quite remarkable!

photo gallery works best when viewed at vagabumming.com